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You are about to enter THE BEWILDERED ZONE

Official Broker Society of the Bewildered
"The Use of the Duck in the Logo is All the Assurance We Need"

Society of the Bewildered GAZETTE
 All the Bewilderedness that's Fit to Print

A Short and Temporary Update- May, 2000
Number of Bewildered People who have read this ISSUE -

COMING SOON!
(Actually "SOON" is a relative term)
THE SOCIETY OF THE BEWILDERED FAQ!!

This is NOT a Real New Issue......
SORRY!

But We had to alert our Readers to............

The Hampster Dance CD The Hampster Dance CD

O.K., so it will never replace the Duck Dance (now playing so sweetly in the background as you read this page), but you need to diversify your listening. And, if you're still reading this page, you need to diversify your reading, too. But, buy The Hampster Dance CD, now, before it's too late. It's only $4.18 at Amazon.com.

News even more accurate than ours!!!! The Onion's Finest News Reporting

Most every Society of the Bewildered Gazette reader also reads The On-Line Version of THE ONION. In fact this amazing periodical was actually featured as the Bewildered Site of the Unspecified Time Period on July 27, 1996 in The Society Gazette of the same date.

Now this popular publication has spawned a best selling book (#1 at AMAZON.COM) featuring the best from this fascinating work of literature.

Click on the book cover at left and you can actually buy this remarkable epistle from our partners at Amazon.com.

We simply had to print out a few of the remarkable headlines included in this book:


Now we return you to our old, tired, worn out issue you've already read a dozen times...

SPECIAL Home and Leisure Edition

Decorating for the Bewildered

Don't know how to create a Perfect Home?
Bewildering Help Below

The World Famous Home Decorator

Close-up of Our Designer/Decorator
Meeting to Determine the Best Possible Designs

It is always best to begin with a personal discussion of design Ideas.
1. Set an overall tone for the home.
STEP 1. - Set the overall tone and motif for the home design. This will guide the selection of design elements throughout the decorating process.
2. Maintain your theme at all costs. In fact, cost is no object.
STEP 2. - Choose decorating elements to tie into the overall theme.
Use of Mirrors can double the impact
STEP 3. - For those on a limited budget, the use of mirrors can double the impact of each design element.
Through diligent searching it is possible to continue the motif from room to room.
STEP 4. - Through diligent searching it is possible to continue the motif from room to room.
STEP 5. - We bet you didn't realize the extent of design implementation. You simply can't carry an idea too far!
STEP 6. - How much is too much of a good thing? If you've chosen wisely, your ideas and decorating touches can totally capture your imagination!
Pay attention to the smallest details
STEP 7. - Pay attention to the smallest details. Your design must appear everywhere!!
THe final step is to carry the design motif outdoors into the yard
STEP 8. - Now it is important to carry the design ideas outside the home. It is simple to build a lake and add livestock.

Bewildered Site of the Unspecified Time Period

Personal Dedication to an idea.....

Roomies - The Cartoon Strip

It is amazing that a one person can take an idea and, in spite of an obvious lack of talent, can continue to force it on the public via the Internet. A truly obsessed person can publish and promote their own peculiar version of humor (or philosophy, or news, or.... whatever) and can keep it up for years and years without the slightest hint of success or even public acceptance. Day after day..... month after month.... year after year....

But, enough about me.....

This Bewildered Site of the Unspecified Time Period is the cartoon strip Roomies by David Willis. For over two years now David has been publishing his cartoon strip daily on the Internet. It mirrors David's own life as a student on a college campus. The site has grown over the years and it rated as on of the top (and most popular) personal home pages on the Internet. You Go, Dave!!! There is hope for the rest of us yet.

THE PURPOSE of the Society of the Bewildered:

"We're Bewildered, we have a purpose, but we can't remember what it was. Since we can't find it, we've substituted 'DUCK DANCING' and the never ending Search for the Perfect Marguarita."

MEMBERSHIP REQUIREMENTS:

"The only requirements are 1.) having children (or once knowing someone who had children) and b.) willingness to admit to being a member. It hasn't really been established that men can actually be members. Men, it seems, refuse to admit to being bewildered. However, in defiance of all logic, they are quick to admit being members of the BEWILDERED SOCIETY.

With these requirements the list of nonmembers grows daily."

THINK YOU MEASURE UP??

Join the Society Today
Proving again that anyone can publish on the web!!!

Register to Receive E-Mail

Keep UP With the Society

And Keep the Robots Happy!

We know it gets lonesome without e-mail. Don't you just hate to sign on and have an empty mailbox. We have the solution. Register below and you'll get mail whenever The Society of the Bewildered Home Page has been updated. The NETMINDER SERVICE WEB CRAWLER ROBOTS actually love to read the Society Gazette. The Gazette is just about the only fun these robots get to have. Keep them employed. Register on the form below and the robots will send you notice by e-mail each time this page becomes MORE BEWILDERED.

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Here are some OTHER PLACES
You can be BEWILDERED!

THE SOCIETY
the Wizards Home Page
Beaker's Laboratory

the WIZARD, fkap
the Wizard, fkap Journal
The Phoebe Cates Resource Directory
Gem of the Day (tm)

The Society of the Bewildered GAZETTE Archives

The May 4, 1996 Issue (Thelma and Louise)
The June 14, 1996 Issue (Pink Flamingos)
The June 21, 1996 Issue (The Royal Society)
The July 11, 1996 Issue (Bill Breaks Wind)
The August 13, 1996 Issue (Scientist Solve Duck-Egg Question)
The September 2, 1996 Issue (Lucky Ducks Continue to Work Magic)
The October 12, 1996 Issue (Society Picks Presidential Candidates)
The March, 1999 Issue (Who Is This Woman?/Scuba Ants Reprint)
The August 1999 Issue (Weight Loss Issue)
The October, 1999 Issue (Orange Food Group Discovered)
There are STILL ISSUES MISSING & the WIZARD is trying to find them....

HECK! You may actually be reading an old issue right now! The NEW ISSUE is always located at http://www.wizardfkap.com/society Be sure you know where you are.

Send your news or comments to the Wizard, fkap

Absolutely NO DUCKS were harmed in the preparation of THIS ISSUE of The Society of the Bewildered Gazette
This Issue's Delightful Music is The Duck Dance!!


©1999 the Wizard, fkap